When Dreams Reflect

I woke up in a panic, grateful it was just a dream. But why was I continually having this same dream? For years I have had the same reoccurring dream that I’m driving and couldn’t gain control of the car. It was becoming so often that I felt in my heart that there had to be some deeper meaning behind it.

 For years It stayed the same—until the end of 2018. That’s when the dream began to shift. Instead of me struggling to gain control, my car began to continuously flip. This dream reoccurred just like the last one, leaving my heart heavy.

 At the end of January 2019, I had that same dream. I again was changing freeways and as I began to turn, my car began to flip. This time, in the passenger seat was my sweet doggy Diva. As the car continued to flip, I remember feeling a calmness and peace I’ve never experienced. I was no longer shaken up and afraid. I simply held my dog close to my chest, and we jumped out of the window.

 It was such a strange yet calming dream. I never thought it was about my excellent driving skills. But the question as to why it would reoccur continued to linger. It wasn’t until early February 2019 I was chatting with some of the other hairdressers at work that I heard Gods voice for the first time in a very long time. As I was sharing with them that final dream, I had to excuse myself. I ran to the bathroom and began to sob. I felt so much gratitude and peace.  I finally understood! It wasn’t until that point that I realized that all those dreams I was having was Gods way of redirecting my life.

 At that time, my life was full of chaos, trauma, and uncertainty. In 2017, I ended a highly toxic nine-year relationship only to fall into another kind of toxicity— alcohol. I drank to numb myself and avoid the inevitable. Being wrapped up in this way of life gave me a sense of belonging amongst the “party” crowd. But that lifestyle took its toll.  There were nights that I would binge so much that I would still feel intoxicated the following day at work. Sleepless nights left me anxious, drained, and unwell. I gained weight, lost peace, and drifting further into self-destruction.

 It was a drive home that I had no recollection of that turned into the wake-up call that I desperately needed.

 2018 is when I made the decision to release the “party” life that was weighing me down. Starting with removing alcohol and removing people that were only influencing unhealthy behavior. I began making healthier food choices and forming healthier habits. 2019 I had quit the job that gave me some stability for the time I needed most but no longer was serving my growth. Stepping into self-employment gave me more freedom, peace, and space to focus on what truly mattered.

 Making these changes marked the beginning of a journey toward a healthier, happier and more fulfilled life. And best of all, brought me closer to Jesus.

 I’ve learned this—God never leaves you. He’s always there— even in the chaos. The problem wasn’t the absence of His presence; it was the direction of my attention. He came to me so many times during those years, but my heart was distracted. Those dreams were a reminder to let go, surrender, and trust Him.

 As I reflect on those heavy years, I can see His Grace and His protection through it all.